It is finding someone who cares. They don't necessarily have to understand you but they want to. They try to. They show that they value you. They see you and they see the real you... And they are willing to accept you for who you are. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Even God cries sometimes. So if you feel lost or misunderstood, we will all be there at some point in our lives but like anything else, how long we wish to dwell there is up to you. The best thing you can do is be part of the solution instead of being part of the problem. Serving others goes a long way in serving yourself by replacing the problems in your mind with seeing real ways that you can make a difference in someone else's life and in the world.
Still, relationships are hard for me. Hard to find... To get into... To feel the mutuality that I want and keep looking for. Mid-twenties is not an easy time to be single and LDS. I know because I am there. Still, I know that it wasn't easy when I was in my early twenties either and talking to my friends, I don't know why I expect it to get any easier later on in life. Loneliness is something that I know I feel pretty poignantly at times. On occasion it may be because I am literally alone. Other times, it is seeing the success and happiness others are having in their early families and young marriages. I am truly happy for them and I find joy in seeing and sharing in their happiness but at times it does highlight how I am incomplete. I am missing that piece.
Loneliness is not something that people who are outside of relationships have a monopoly on. There are wonderful people even in marriages that are lonely. You can be at a party and be lonely. You can be loved and be lonely. And the opposite is equally true. There is no deadline for love. There is no reason to rush things. You don't have one shot in life for happiness. You have to learn to have the heart and the eyes to feel it. Like a testimony, the feelings and emotions we have are real and undebatable. Although each relationship is different, there are principles that can create success.
Faith... You have to have faith in yourself and then you have to have faith in your partner. There is nothing that can destroy a relationship faster than a lack of trust. You need to believe in them as much as you believe them. Having the ability to see the perfection in imperfection is hard for most. Faith is not blind. It looks and acts on a belief in the future but it sprouts first out of hope.
Hope... It is knowing the past whether it is our own or others and believing that as history has shown, good things will happen. It is similar to patience but it is active. It endures. It waits but it supports our actions in the present. I have a hope that someday I will have the privilege of starting a family with my best friend. I hope that I will be a good provider and I have faith that I will be able to lead and guide them with the support and guidance of my future spouse and my Father in Heaven. I have faith that if I foster my relationship with Him that I am actively fostering my relationship with my future spouse at the same time by becoming a better disciple.
Charity... Love is kind. Love is simple. Love is natural. Love is easy. We cannot control whether or not we are going to be loved but we can choose to love ourselves. Life is so much easier when we focus on the things that we can control. You will know you found someone that is worth it all when that is what you have become in their little world. Your happiness is as important to them as it is to you and vice versa. The focus is on the other half of the relationship because you are confident and you have faith that they are equally focused on you.
Self-worth... Other people may not see your worth but that does not mean that you don't have any. The power that comes from reminding yourself daily how amazing you are is powerful. You wake up in the morning and look like death warmed over and you look into your bathroom mirror and you tell yourself,
"You are amazing. You can do anything you put your mind to. You are attractive. You are sexy. You are smart. You are beautiful because you are happy. You are beautiful because you are not afraid to be you. You are beautiful because simply you are you. The outside world does not define you. You are the master of your fate. You write your own story. You are the one that makes your dreams a reality. You are a god in the making."And if you don't believe yourself then try believing Ashton Kutcher. Kelso always seemed like he would be a well of knowledge and wisdom... Who knew his real name was Chris?
I guess what I am trying to get at is that with all the ups and downs in the world the only way to stay stable is to pick a place and stay there. If you are going to be a cynic, well I personally would be cynical about that decision. I would choose to be happy. It is generally better than the alternative.
Stay positive. Stay high. Stay optimistic. And realize that blessings come to those who wait.
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