Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Two Way Mirror

Am I who I aught to be? Does it matter who I aught to be? Am I myself or do I put on a good face for the crowd? How do I see myself? Who is that man in the mirror? I have seen a lot of things in my life but a lot of what we see is subjective. There really is truth in the phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

What is beauty? Is it honesty, reality, goodness? Is it appearance, size, shape? Is it in you? Is it in me? Who are we really? There is so many answers to so many questions, but there is never one answer to that question, it is always changing. Growing, falling, dying, living, and becoming. In the end of the day, what is most important to me is what I have become. Who am I? Now if only everyone could see inside of me as He does. The real me...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Walk With Me

We walk along through the drifting snow, the little pieces of clouds that have broken off to touch us softly and disappear on the wind. Little pieces of peace and solitude that move in utter silence until they fall upon you. They are cold. Like the shiver that runs up your arms and spine that make your hairs stand on end, but only for a brief moment. Still, she notices and you smile, only a little embarrassed, and you squeeze her hand. You are only human. She smiles back with a twinkle that almost says I caught you. That playful smile that brings light to her eyes and causes your heart to dance. So you pull her in closer as you continue strolling through the winter night. There will be warmth soon but the journey is still ahead, but it is lit. The moon lights up the snow as if you are in a black and white photograph. The shades and contrast cause your moving figures to almost leap out to eyes of the natural world as it moves around you. As it moves through you. You are a part of it just as much as you are a part of each other. In unison you leave your mark, small footprints in the snow.

But you don't look back, because what is behind you? What is so important back there, when everything that you want is with you and in front of you? So you move on, smiling. Knowing that everything will be alright. Soon there will be a fire roaring, laughter in the air stirring with emotion and the smells of cocoa and cider. That this perfect silence is as much of a beautiful contrast to that near future are as those colors around you in the night. But just as the blacks are incomplete with the brilliant light, so does this moment complete you. She completes you. And so as the world continues to turn, and time drifts slowly away, the snow will fall as you walk closer and closer to your future. This is my composition. This is my Music of the Night. Strolling in the moonlight.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Life is like a Library

You ever have places where you just feel at home? A place where you can go to collect your thoughts and your feelings? For me a library is such a place. It is filled with information, opinions, people of the past and the present and all their experiences. These books are memories, and being memories are windows to them. My life is much the same. But I have not read every book or read every author. I would want to. There would be so much to gain!

In my life, I can see these "books." Many of which are just beginning and some have passed on but I enjoy to picking them up and rereading them. To see where I have been opens a vision to who I have become and who I can yet be. But again, like any book, some you can start reading and see that you will not be able to finish it. It doesn't capture your imagination, involve you into the story, doesn't incite a deeper way of thinking, whatever it is, it just doesn't do it for you. And then there are the classics... the books you just can't put down, ones you want to reread over and over and over again. It is a treasure to find such a read. But people are like books in a library, you do not own them. And if you don't spend enough time you may not be able to get to the ending before it is time. And then they are gone.

It won't matter if it is a classic or if it is a book that turns into a pillow by page four. People move on. So what I am saying is become captivated by those in your life. Be involved. Be in every page of their life, savor every word, every moment. Be someone worth remembering. Become a memory. There is a wonderful phrase within the scriptures and it is, look and live. Well, in this context I say love and live. The people I remember the most, I loved the most. Every moment felt like it would last for a lifetime. Do not give it up because if you wait you may lose it and then it will be gone. Some live in the past and forget their present, so their future fades and they become a thing of the past. So live now. Learn to love and you will have learned to live forever.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


So I was talking to one of my roommates today and it made me think... go figure. I thought about something my dad had taught me to do a long time ago. He was teaching me how to play chess. First we started off with a game called take-me. You try to put your pieces in places where your opponent must take them and the first one to clear their side of the board wins. It is supposed to teach you what not to do, that way when you play a real game you can avoid making stupid mistakes. Then, he taught me a simple rule of thumb and it is to think two-steps ahead. If you didn't have a plan or a goal then it is real tough to be able to see not only where you are going but what your opponent was planning on doing as well.

You can take these same things and use them in real life too. You can think two steps ahead and try to figure out what people are thinking, to see what you need to do to reach your own goals. You know what you don't want to do, so don't put yourself in a position where that may happen, where you can be "taken." But as I talked to my roommate I realized that some times I took these things too far. Right now I am studying to be a Mechanical Engineer in college. It is a good occupation, will pay well in the future, will have good benefits, and it will help me get where I want to be. But is that really what I want to do? And that is where my roommate and I's discussion began.

The question is not really what do I want to do. There are hundreds, thousands of different things that a person CAN do. But what they SHOULD do is completely different. You see every one of us is an individual. We have different personalities, skills, likes and dislikes. We are all different shapes. And kind of like a little baby with its toys, you take the block and put it in the hole that has the same shape. You really shouldn't be trying to jam yourself into any old "hole" or job that looks good. First you need to figure out your "shape" and look for what you can fit into. So again the question is not really what do I want to do. The question is what am I made to do? Who am I? Where do I fit in?

Even though I think I would make a fine engineer, would I truly enjoy it? Would it wear me down? There is a lot to think about and lot for me to discover, so why wait! The time is now. But I guess what I am trying to say, is we need to figure out who we are, how we move, how we tick. Which piece are you? Are you a pawn and only move steady and straight? Are you a knight and jump, jump, jump around? Are you a bishop and only move side to side? Whatever you are you need to figure it out, otherwise you may end up in a place you didn't ever want to be without really knowing how you got there in the first place. And then, checkmate... Take control of your life.