Saturday, March 23, 2013

Mutuality in Relationships

The next few thoughts are all going to be dating related.  Sometimes the thoughts will be from my experience and other times it will be from when my friends have had to talk to me about their own issues.  The problem I have with the whole thing is that you can learn from others mistakes and your own but the best recipe for success is just a good set of basic instructions.  The key to all of it is from what I can tell is mutuality.

The best part of early dating is the fact that you don't really know what the other person is thinking.  As a man, we are the ones that initiate and have to ask for the dates.  The only way that I can really tell if things are progressing is if my date is willing to make time to see me.  If she initiates conversation and contact both during the date and between dates.  It has been hard to find someone that has this kind of mutual interest and that in itself is a bit discouraging.  I have to be willing to be patient and see what happens.  I known plenty of girls I would love to date but again unless there is mutuality, I don't want to waste someone's time.  You can't create attraction or make someone else fall in love with you.  There needs to be something there.

An old friend of mine said that the thing she hates the most is to being hated by someone else.  Honestly, I can handle knowing that someone is upset with me or doesn't like me.  It drives me up the wall not knowing how someone else feels.  It frustrates me when I feel like I am being ignored.  I am not someone that you can come back to or use as a back up.  No one likes to feel that way.  The only way a relationship will work is if you decide to commit to a relationship.  Anything less is not a real relationship.  I am at a point in my life where I do not want to settle for something less.  It goes back to the way I was raised.  It is only illogical to settle for anything less than a relationship that will never end.  But that is really all that I want... Is for the person that is my best friend that I love to love me too.  We all have an innate need to want to be loved.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Interesting People

If you know me personally then you know that in my vocabulary I have a few favorite words... 'ridiculous' and 'interesting' for starters.  These words are so useful and have so many meanings.  They're just wonderful.  The reason I bring this up is because I find it amazing to see how things work.  If this fascination only remained with the mechanical world than maybe I would feel more suited to my major.  However, it doesn't end there and there is just so much in the world around us that just seamlessly falls into place.  I am not a believer in chance but I believe in choice and in God and a Divine Creator.  Where this post came from was some time I spent thinking about the plan for my life.  Is there a plan?  What is my story?

I had a professor once say that when we talk about our life story and the omniscience and omnipresence of God there is a beautiful analogy that we can share to illustrate the role of agency in that plan.  He said that God is present with the book of our life and at times we ask Him for guidance to know what to do and He turns the book around for us to get a glimpse of what has happened, is happening, or will happen and to our credit and to our surprise what we see are pages written in our handwriting.  God has given us the tools to succeed in life and sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our exemplar but in the end the consequences we encounter are based on the choices we personally make in the situations we find or place ourselves in.  Is God still a player in this game?  Of course He is.  He prompts and instructs and protects as any father would, but in the end He still wants us to choose Him.  He wants us to choose to be like Him and to want to live with Him.  We are heirs with Christ so being such, it is not just a possibility but expected that we will eventually become like Him.  Good thing that change is a process because I am still not close to being taken up quite yet.

Still I find it fascinating to see the world in all of its imperfection and yet sit back and see the perfection unfold.  It is seen in the imperfect people all around us, a world of chaos held in balance and order, and life that continually presses forward as steadily as a clock.  We live, we age, and we die.  It is all the little things in the middle that give life its beauty and the relationships we form give life its meaning.  I love to slow things down for a few minutes and just watch to see how the world turns around me.  It gives a feeling of empowerment to watch people as a bystander make decisions, weigh options, judge and become impassioned by their feelings.  It is literally awesome to watch as any one person can change the whole atmosphere of room through their arrival and their presence.  It makes me smile when I see a young man enter into a room and quietly notice a girl whom he is attracted to and then make his way across to sit next to her.  I continue to watch happily as he continues to take sideways looks that he hopes to go unnoticed as she goes about her activities and eventually leaves.  I practically tally those looks in my mind and naturally the more tallies I mentally make the bigger my smile becomes.  People are just interesting.

Art is emotion in motion with a spark of creativity and imagination.

One of the most beautiful things I see in the human form is emotion.  It is the music to the soul.  It is the rhythm for life.  It is something unique about our place in the world as well as the way we perceive the world.  A long-standing memory is often linked to a highly emotional event in our lives: birth, death, pain, pleasure, peace, or the feelings of failure or success.  But within each of us is also a desire to belong, be understood, and to feel loved and to love.  The elegant complexity of the human form is complemented by the simplicity of the common factors within each and every personality.  Like one well-oiled and highly manufactured machine, we all move among each other like a series of well-designed cogs and gears pushed along by the belt of time.

I recently saw this guy in concert and it was AMAZING... Tyrone Wells.

I don't know how many times i have heard myself or my friends say that we have poor timing.  It is a hard balance trying to see how long we should wait before we act.  Sometimes immediate action is crucial and at other times it is best to just stay still and see how things unfold.  It is so hard to know which is needed.  I really don't need to spell out this one but again I could end this thought with interesting people.  I don't even think we always know why we do things we do and when.  But again, I think life is a masterpiece where we have to learn from the shadows to appreciate the light, find purpose in the casual things and natural progression of each and every day, but most importantly live a life worth remembering because when we are old and grey I don't know how much more can we count on than our memories.  Our choices help to define us and it really is quite amazing what people decide to do... Interesting people.