Filled with Emotion

The last few days have been really hard for me lately.  The catalyst for all of my emotion was the senseless acts of violence done at the Boston Marathon.  Some time around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, about 3 hours after the first runners crossed the finish line, two bombs went off within seconds of each other down on Boylston Street.  A third bomb would be set off later and a few more bombs would be found that were not detonated.  These bombs were found to have shards of metal, soda pop cans, nails, and metal beads.  I can't imagine the pain and damage caused by that kind of an atrocity.  No suspects were named and no terrorist group has taken credit for the attack.  In the end, the police reported 176 causalities, 17 critical, and 3 dead.  Among those were men, women, and children.  Some of the individuals being brought to Mass General were arriving without limbs.

Some might ask why there and why then?  The Boston Marathon was held on Patriot's Day in Boston.  Patriot's Day is a civic holiday commemorating the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord on April 19, 1775.  These were the battles that began what would be the American Revolutionary War.

On this day celebrating our freedom and at an event that invites athletes and their families from all over the world to participate in world's oldest marathon race, attracting over 500,000 spectators and about 20,000 registered participants annually.  So not only was this a huge jab at the United States but it was also timed so the greatest number of causalities could be injured and killed.  For me, this was a little too close to home.  I have friends and family that live or work or go to school nearby.  It was for me not as great of a tragedy as 9/11 but it still brought back memories of it only to combine with the heartache I felt for those poor families.  For some of them, the wounds and atrocities that they would now carry for the rest of their lives... It would almost be better that they had died.

I have loved ones that have had to deal with scars that they will carry for the rest of their lives.  Scars so heavy to bear that death seemed like the better option when the incidents were still fresh.  The nights that I spent covering my pillow with tears until my body fell asleep from the sobbing, I can only imagine for these poor families.  I can't even begin to imagine the loss that would be felt from losing a child.  But the pain will soften and for some with time it can even subside.  I know that only an increase of love and service can heal that kind of pain.  Some of the greatest signs of courage are shown on the same stage as those of great suffering.  Forgiveness for some and concern and sacrifice for in behalf for the victims.

I don't understand the kind of hatred and disregard for human life that is necessary for these kinds of actions.  I know from my life that most actions, but not all, are reactions to events, perspectives, or the actions of others.  We can choose how to respond and our circumstances do not have to define what we do.  However, it really is hard for me to understand why some individuals would feel that common people needed to be suffer in order to send a message, especially when we still don't know what we did that was wrong and deserving of such violence.  Differences in culture and perspective can skew how we see the world and the people in it.  Our family backgrounds influence us.  Our religious beliefs influence us.  And even though these things can be stumbling blocks for some in accepting or trying to allow for understanding other people, I feel like there is more we can do.

Anxiety, nervousness, excitement, loss, compassion, loneliness, amazement... The list goes on and on.  But the one thing I hold onto is hope and God.  Things will work out in the end and the idea that He has greater blessings in store in the future, it is hard to accept.  However it is not just enduring but enduring well that will bring blessings.  We usually focus in life the things that are not quite right when we need to take the time to see the parts of life that make it beautiful.  And many times, our differences and complimentary aspects of life will only add to the beauty of it.  Our perspective will change with time as we will but I hope that we can still see things that we can be grateful even among the harder times.