What I Look For

A heard a friend of mine mention a quote recently that is attributed to Max Lucado saying, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." I think that makes a lot of sense. Every person I meet is different so it is hard to saying what I look for in a woman. Still there are certain things that I know are important and foundational to me, of which the foremost is my faith. I have always said that my future wife had to respect that my relationships have an order of priority to them: God comes first. Then her. Then myself. Then my family. Then everyone else.

I am not looking for someone that needs fixing. I know none of us are perfect nor would I expect someone who was would want me, but I want someone stable. Someone who has goals, perspective, dreams, works hard, and does something meaningful with their life. Life should be fun and it should be enjoyed but to expect that to be the extent of what we will experience and that we will be protected from everything else is simply ignorance. I am not looking for someone that I will be anywhere but beside them, as an equal and as a help meet. I am not looking to marry a "sick puppy." A sick puppy is someone who needs coddling, a home to stay in, babying, fed, etc. I want someone who can stand on their own two feet if they have to, who knows who they are, what they want, and is continually trying to improve.

In a marriage relationship, we are both the sheep and the shepherd but never the hireling. We are willing to sacrifice our selves for our relationship. We are willing to uplift and strengthen as well as look to be uplifted and strengthened. As an equal partnership, we are a whole.  We never look for alternatives when things get hard. We are completely committed and invested in what we have.  When there are issues in the relationship the only parties in which we turn for counsel are those involved, your partner and the Lord. Communication, trust, loyalty, desire, and effort are key to a strong, happy, lasting relationship.

My generation at times seems lost in the appearance, the fun, excitement, and physical aspects of a relationship that they forget the foundation. They are so caught up in these ever changing characteristics and then they wonder why it doesn't seem like things will ever last. There are only two options that are available to us as we get old... We either balloon or prune. And the sad part is that we don't see the beauty that does come with age. There is nothing so beautiful as a few wrinkles around the eyes or on the face because for the most part, they are evidence of a life full of smiles and happiness no matter the circumstance. Our outlook and perspective on life is a personal choice, nothing more and nothing less.

I am looking for someone to grow old with. Someone to grow together with. I want someone who can see the beauty in life and find adventure and happiness in even the little things. I want someone who can laugh when times are hard, dance in the rain, and see the rose petals among the thorns. I want someone who respects and loves me as much as I love them and the Lord even more than that. I am not looking for perfection but am looking to see the perfection amidst all imperfection and a desire to be better than we were yesterday.