Most of the time we all see ourselves under a microscope. We know every little thought, action, desire, and every dirty little secret in our lives. Most of us do not try to fool ourselves in thinking we are perfect. Most of us do the very opposite in fact. All we can see is our imperfections. I try to land conveniently somewhere in the middle. I know I am not the spawn of Satan and I am certainly no saint, as much as I try to be. So I totally understand the saying that we are our own biggest critic but still I am trying to learn to see the growth and perfection in my own imperfections. All we need is an outside perspective to help us step back for a moment to see ourselves in that better light. This brings me to a handwritten letter I found in a homemade envelope on my front steps this morning:
June 25, 2013
Jordan,
It's past 2:00 AM and as I've been going over the blessing you gave me, I felt impressed to share with you a few things.
First of all, thank you for being the type of friend/young man I can depend on to call at 12:20 AM for a blessing. Thank you for being worthy to hold the priesthood and use it righteously. I do have home teachers but I don't feel like I can depend on them and I don't feel comfortable enough to ask for their help in such a personal matter; thank you for filling that gap.
I wish you could see the blessing you have been in my life. I wish you could understand (and I could convey) the gratitude I have to you for being such a dear friend/example this entire year. It has been a constant and to you I say thank you.
Jordan, there are so many people who look up to you in the ward (people you don't even know). Your genuine love and care for others is a light that does not go unnoticed.
You are good: you are a good person and you deserve good things. This along with the help of the Lord will get you places. I know you know this but sometimes it's good to her it, we humans tend to forget a lot. :) Heavenly Father is so mindful of you! (And yes, people say this a lot but really, He is. I know it.)
Continue to be that light and that goodness. Also, thank you for your genuine hugs and affection no matter what the situation; it's a feeling of love, concern and protection I've never known. You have a gift, Jordan.
I hope that you can feel the sincerity in my words and know that you are loved by so many.
Your Friend
Maybe I need to lighten up sometimes and give myself a break. I'm not all bad. She will probably never know, hear, or see this but sometimes it is the people like her that I need in my life. I need people to serve and I need people to love so I can stop focusing on myself and get out of my own head. I need her as much if not more than she feels like she would need me.
There are too many people in the world to walk by a sea of nameless, faceless, crowds of people and never stop to realize that you are one of them. And if you are, then everyone is. So just like you are an individual, a child, a parent or future parent, a person, a name, an identity, a soul... So is every other face in that crowd. They all have needs, dreams, wants, desires, lives, and a destiny. They don't have to be walked by and ignored or lost and forgotten. Reach out and love that person who does not deserve it by any other reason than that they are alive and that they are a child of God. Don't let anyone be lost in the crowd. I know. I used to feel like just another number, just another face, just another person... But now, I know who I am and all it took for me to realize that was a little love. Don't be afraid to reach out and love another person. It may make all the difference.
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