Strolling in the Moonlight: Trying to Find My Way

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Trying to Find My Way

I don't know how to explain it but I feel like sometimes I am meant to be in this world to help people. I find myself in the most interesting situations. I feel like I walk through a mist of people carrying a light only to come upon individuals sitting down scared and alone in life or maybe others that are walking aimlessly lost. I may not have answers to everything and I may not be the strongest or best looking or anything of the sort but I can listen and help in any way that I can. I don't play games and I am super loyal and if I had to say what my dream or biggest goals are they would have to be something like this:

I want to marry my best friend. I want to be a father. I want to travel with my wife and have adventures. I want to be worthy of my priesthood and be not just in good standing with God but I want to be able to be called His friend. I hope that He will continue to use me to help the people around me. I want to be His mouthpiece. I want to be a friend that people can count on. I want to be trustworthy. I want to be someone that people can confide in. I think the reason I try so hard to be that kind of person is because I want that kind of person. I want intimacy, trust, love, and the feeling that I have my other half. I don't necessarily want someone to complete me, but more I want someone that I can grow together with.

I am trying to find my way. I have had a lot of interaction with some amazing individuals at work. I will listen and give some basic counsel. These are people like me who are facing obstacles in life, who have needs like me, and who want to be their best selves but at times feel like they are tied down. The gospel allows freedom in our life, provides us with choice, and creates true confidence which can only come by knowing that your standing before the Lord is good. The world is always changing and it is such a relief to have something that is steadfast in my life. I am still looking for someone to share that life with but that isn't anything new... Patience and persistence and faith are what gets me through. I continue to date and try to find someone that is interested and if I do find someone, I will just have to see what happens. We will make something out of nothing.

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The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

Serenity

"But it ain't all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flyin' is? Well I suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say."

"I do. But I like to hear you say it."

"Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as a turn in the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."

"Storm's getting worse."

"We'll pass through it soon enough."

Scott Russell Sanders

"When the pain of leaving behind what we know outweighs the pain of embracing it, or when the power we face is overwhelming and neither flight nor fight will save us, there may be salvation in sitting still. And if salvation is impossible, then at least before perishing we may gain a clearer vision of where we are. By sitting still I do not mean the paralysis of dread, like that of a rabbit frozen beneath the dive of a hawk. I mean something like reverence, a respectful waiting, a deep attentiveness to forces much greater than our own."

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

"When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.

I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."

Ender's Game

"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand someone, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them-"

"You beat them." For a moment she was not afraid of his understanding.

"No you don't understand. I destroy them. I make it impossible for them to ever hurt me again. I grind them and grind them until they don't exist."

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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Trying to Find My Way

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