But Is She Smart?

I think it is interesting how people value different parts or people in their lives. I feel like it reflects more on the individual themselves than anything else. So I am going to try and do a little self-reflection and try and see if I am becoming who I want to be through analyzing what I value in other people. Should be an interesting exercise... On a side note, this is the result of me studying for an accounting final exam while listening to SafetySuit on my iTunes.

So when it comes to women that I am attracted to there is obviously a physical element that shows up in upfront or initial attraction. However I don't feel like physical features are an end all kind of situation because in the end I don't spend my time on someone if they don't have a lot of inner qualities I am looking for. I am attracted a lot of the time to people who are around my age and have had a lot of life experiences that they reflect or have tried to learn from.

I am attracted to individuals who have a lot of drive, ambition, goals, and are hardworking. In a word, they are not just dreamers but achievers who strive to make their dreams a reality. I am attracted to people who can empathize and sympathize. I am attracted to people who think about other people and are caring. I am attracted to introverts. People who are shy or quiet with most people or the average stranger but when you get them among friends or family they can become the life of the party.

I don't care if the person I like has had things happen in their past but I want to date someone who strives to be better every day. I won't care what their past journey was but I am more interested in what motivates them to change. It isn't where they had to go to get here as much as why. Taking those motivations and pushing them forward, where are they trying to get to? Why is it important to them? How do they connect to that idea? How do I relate to that path? Are we going in the same direction?

On the flip side, I get super annoyed by the calorie counters and surface relationships. I feel like people need to accept their vulnerability and be willing to open up. It is frustrating to me to feel like I am listening to or trying to build a relationship with a copy of People magazine. I want substance. I want someone willing to live life and not just talk about it. I value a woman who wants a career and a family. I value someone who has a desire to know God, no matter what path they are on. I value someone who is intelligent. I value someone who knows their strengths and their weaknesses.

I probably could have kept going but the thought just crossed my mind that as I look at this list, I am looking for someone that has what I want to see in myself. I seem to want to impose my experiences and desires on the person I want to spend time with. I don't know if that is a good thing because I have dated someone that had a lot of my same weaknesses and strengths in the past and it turned out to be pretty painful, but at the same token is it really a bad thing? Wouldn't it be better to be able to relate to or connect with the other person who has been through similar experiences?

Maybe this simply signifies my personal desire to deepen the relationship I have with myself. Maybe it means that I need to be more open-minded. Either way, I have to be careful of how I put my own characteristics onto the picture of the person I am looking for and be more open to the people around me.