The number of times people show up late or even stand me up for an appointment or a date is shocking to me. I respect you and see value in you as a person and in some kind of business or friend or dating or whatever kind-of relationship, and because of that I am willing to make time for you. I will be true to my word and I will be there. If I have already committed to something and you need or want to hangout or whatever and I tell you that I want to be there, I'm going to explain the situation and will keep you in the loop and let you know what is going on. I will do everything I can to make sure that you know that because it is what I expect in return. A pet peeve of mine is feeling like I am someone's backup plan ESPECIALLY if they don't have anything solid set up yet. I know a lot of people don't want to invest in something or someone or a business, because they are afraid of getting hurt or making the wrong choice. So figure it out and then make a decision. People are like opportunities in that they come and they go.
In relationships, I have been hurt by people or cheated on by people who were impatient, indecisive, unable to commit or stay committed, but that would never have had to happen if we simply communicated. So instead of shutting down and becoming unsure about myself, my feelings, commitment, and those kinds of things, I am more motivated to understand my choices. It motivates me to over-analyze. But I would rather do that, then be the kind of person that propagates the same actions and results that hurt me. I'm not afraid of getting hurt. The best way to learn how to wrestle is to get beat up a bunch by someone that is more experienced than you. You learn how to move through the pain. You learn from their choices, how you react, and how to become better. It is the same with life. You can see when people are doing things that will hurt others and themselves. You can learn how to healthily deal with disappointment, failure, loneliness and heartaches. They will happen in life and that is a guarantee. So it is better to learn now, early, how to overcome those and how to avoid causing it yourself. It is learning how to make right choices and helping others to do the same.
The best way to figure out how to do this I feel is from gaining more self-understanding and self-awareness. Take time to understand your emotions and think about how you would describe what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. And then dig deeper by answering those same questions but only using reasons and things that you are in control of, remembering that you can control how you act and react. And during this period of self-awareness, look at yourself honestly. And for every weakness you identify try to identify two or more strengths or things you are grateful for. Some of our greatest strengths lie outside of ourselves, such as for me I have an amazing family. The point is that when you take this approach you can better see and understand your self-worth and you can learn to have faith in yourself and in your decisions. You have to learn from your mistakes because you won't always be right. No one is. But it still will give you confidence and the ability to commit to the decisions you will choose yourself. We have all been blessed with agency, so it is important to learn how to make right choices.
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