Stop Looking for Someone

I want to say upfront that I hate dating. I think dating is a sick and twisted game because honestly no one is really that honest. I think I am aware enough to be able to tell if someone would be open or interested in a first date and those are harmless. All a first date is supposed to be is an opportunity to get to know someone and to have fun. There is no check box for marriage or even a relationship. It is a social experience to meet or see someone in a different setting where you get to know them better.

My issue with dating is what happens after that. If you had fun and you enjoyed yourself and it looks like the feeling is mutual then I figure it is natural as a guy to ask for a second date. My question is how to figure out that next part. If you have an idea planned then great, throw it out there. If not, commit to coming up with an idea and calling far enough in advance that you can set up the next date. I figure that is harmless. Still, I seem to have a lot of dates fall through at this point.

I know I am attracted to women that are driven, goal-oriented, and independent, so typically this means they are full-time students with full-time jobs. But even when I am busy, I still make time for the things I want to do. So am I not creating enough mutual interest? How do you do that? Are they just busy or are they just not interested in either dating or dating me? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me especially when at times they might initiate conversation or when we do talk we can talk for hours. But after that first date, all that communication is always at a distance: text, over the phone, etc. It seems near impossible for me to actually physically see them again. Is the problem that I ask girls on dates too quickly? Usually after meeting someone, if things go well and the conversation is flirty, fun, or deep, I will ask them for their number and plan a date. Is that a bad thing? Is that too fast? I feel like if I do ask and she says yes, then we both made a good first impression generally. Am I wrong? Do I need to wait for a while? I don't get it.

So I ask family, roommates, and friends, and the response is always the same. Stop looking for someone to date. I don't think I am. I go on dates and if they go well I ask for another. I don't think I am desperate or needy or anything. I'm not hunting for a spouse! I am old enough at 25 years old that I probably should be according to LDS standards. Still, I don't think I am a bad catch or a poor catch or a catch for that matter. I just think I am me. I am a good friend and I am understanding, considerate, fun, outgoing, creative, and at times kind of romantic. So where is the fallacy in what I am doing? Do I just need to be more patient or do I need to change up my game? I'm open to suggestions.