Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Total Fulfillment

Fulfillment... What is it? Where does it come from? Is it the same for everyone? People have different desires and motivations so how could they all ever be defined? I think this can be a very controversial topic and I don't proclaim or have any prepositions that I would be an expert on fulfillment but over my short lifespan I have learned a few different things here and there along the way. I tend to be an observant chap and I like to think that not everything escapes me but as some of my friends say, "You are pretty switched on for a young guy." Thanks... I think? So briefly I want to talk about desires, motives, and the overall general goal I believe everyone has of finding fulfillment.

When we talk about desires these can be divided into needs and wants. I had an interesting discussion about human needs recently. Human needs were described as four primary needs of being and two needs of the spirit by Anthony Robbins. I will use his definitions as we used in our discussion and I will give them respectively to the two previously mentioned categories:

Certainty - certainty that you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
Variety - the need for the unknown or change
Significance - feeling unique, important, special or needed
Love & Connection - a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something

Growth
- an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
Contribution - a sense of service and focus on helping, giving and supporting others

We all value these differently and they tend to drive our decisions and choices. If we understand which we value most and how it impacts our life we can ultimately learn to expand the choices available to us. It is interesting that as I discussed this psychology with a member of his team, that individual was able through our discussion point out various ways that these needs were impacting the way I led my life and how they affected my relationships with others.

I have been interested in learning various psychology mechanisms like this before. In fact, some people may have heard of The Color Code. This again is a mechanism that tries to categorize human emotion and desires into ways that we can identify them in ourselves and in others. By being able to understand them, we can better know how to interact with each other and also fulfill others' needs. In The Color Code, basic personality groupings are separated into the following four color groups:

RED (Motive: POWER) - These are the power wielders. The ability to move from point A to point B and get things done, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of vision and leadership and generally are responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive.
BLUE (Motive: INTIMACY) - These are the do-gooders. Connect, creating quality relationships and having purpose, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of quality and service and are generally loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.
WHITE (Motive: PEACE) - These are the peacekeepers. The ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.
YELLOW (Motive: FUN) - These are the fun lovers. The joy of living life "in the moment", is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of enthusiasm and optimism and are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.

The more you are able to understand people's motives, the better you are able to deal with them. It takes time to recognize or use these tools to help you in your relationships but they really do work. I am able to communicate and keep close relationships with all the members of my immediate family because I understand what their needs are and in the ways we interact, I try to make sure that those needs are met. And with every need or motive, there are pros and cons depending on the situation. But when we begin to understand ourselves, we can focus on developing attributes that will make us better, even if these attributes are outside of the scope of our core needs or motives.

But back to the idea of total fulfillment... I love to think about these kinds of things and the reason why is that it is self-reflective. You can examine your life and see in what areas you are falling short of your expectations and standards and then you can know the different ways that you can improve. But when it comes to finding personal fulfillment, true and real joy, there is only one real way of finding that and it comes from the gospel. I know that real peace, real comfort, sincerity, love, and purpose come from living and understanding the gospel. And it is no coincidence that by living the gospel we begin to understand it more. If we are willing to be an instrument in God's hands by serving the people around us, standing firm to our standards and values, we can find a way to fulfill all of the needs that I previously mentioned. Most importantly though is the fact that by living the way that Christ showed us through His life, we become like Him. We find strength and power as God blesses us with the Spirit and with the gifts of the Spirit. People can look wherever they wish to find total fulfillment but I know that there is no other way than by Him. It is what makes Him who He is. There is no real reason in living life unless you are getting the most out of it, so you might as well live righteously because the joy and blessings you find through that will never fade... hence, total fulfillment.

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