One of the things I have realized in my MBA program is that regardless of your motives, how people perceive your actions and interactions are more important than what you are trying to do or convey. Other people's perceptions may not always be the truth of the situation but they are a reality. It is the soft skills that will make or break your career and what can help you escalate quickly. So when I have found that I was hitting obstacles consistently in my internship search, I decided that it would be a good idea to take a long hard look in the mirror and start asking for criticisms.
For starters, I struggle in listening. That's not entirely true. I struggle in giving or providing people that I listen to with feeling a sense of value. I don't value other people's opinions or thoughts as I should. Instead, I think about what was said and at times depending on the comment, may disregard it entirely when I make a decision.
I need to improve my body language and my body. The number of times I was asked during this first of my MBA program not if but how much weight I have gained has been too many. On top of that, I am known as someone who can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. But seriously, when it comes to body language, I need to be aware of my posture when I am sitting, listening to a presentation, and when I am asking questions.
Another issue that I struggle with is that when I ask questions, I will preface my question in an unnecessary and sometimes arrogant way. Examples include but are not limited to mentioning my background in engineering or business or any other way of establishing credibility. I am intelligent but I need to let other people come to that conclusion on their own and I shouldn't try to prove it to them or tell them. Instead of focusing on myself, I need to be more direct in my questions as well as my answers. Sometimes I am very political and I ramble and I don't always tell my whole story instead of being direct.
Another issue I have is acknowledging when I'm wrong. I was in conversation with another professional that was giving me one of these critiques and I ended up correcting her when I misspoke saying that we were basically saying the same thing. I was wrong and regardless of what I thought, I needed to accept that I was in the wrong. I needed help. I think it goes back to again needing to be a better listener. Sometimes I also give suggestions or my opinion when it isn't asked for. If I have ideas or thoughts, instead of offering them up I need to listen and if people want to know what I am thinking then they need to ask me or I need to ask if it would be okay if I share them.
The ironic thing is that I knew I was far from perfect and honestly, I thought my greatest weakness was my lack of direct work experience in my target industries. I didn't see half of these comments coming. After being caught seriously off guard, I had to accept that these perceptions are true. These are the honest perceptions and the perspective of my peers on who I am and how I present myself. If that is what people see, then I need to learn how to adjust my image. I challenge you to ask people to do the same for you because it is eye-opening to realize exactly what and how much people see.
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