She came down and started to wash tables as I was finishing up at the same time, we started talking again. I asked her a lot of things and we talked about a few things we had in common but in the end the interesting thing happened when we started to talk about what she really wanted to do in life. Obviously not every girl dreams of working for Kneader's... No matter how good the food is there. She said, "What I really want to do is be a drama teacher. Stupid right? Everyone tells me what a waste my life would be and that I need to do more with it." Who tells that to someone? I tell her that I think that is the best thing that she could ever do and that it wasn't stupid.
Something that I learned recently that people who are charismatic have an ability to listen and to support others but only give advice when it is asked for. They stand out because they choose to break what we typically hear. They listen. They understand and ask for the why when it comes to our actions. They are supportive when others have told us that we are stupid or wrong. They tell us we are out of place when we are actually are in the wrong when everyone else is supportive because of society tells them to not oppose us. They are leaders because they are equalizers. I don't know if I am there yet but I would like to be, however the point of all this is Mckenna's dream.
No matter who you are or what your skills may be, life does not have to be dry and boring. Your incentive has to change as you begin to grow up. When we were little, we dreamed of being doctors, astronauts, Top Gun pilots, one of your parents may have been your hero, but whatever it was you knew that was who you were going to be and what you wanted to do. And some of the great doctors and astronauts and pilots in this world were the few of us who stuck it out. Their passion drove them to never give up. What about the rest of us? When did we first let life and circumstance win? When did dreams become nothing more than fairytales and Christmas and Easter lost their magic?
Was it the first paycheck? Was it the first time we didn't have a paycheck? Was it when a debt was called in? Was it when we realized that our skills and our intelligence could lead to "better" things or as the world sees it, more powerful and profitable pursuits? When did what we really and truly want to be die and become nothing more than a good story? For me, it was a lot of health related issues to be completely honest. Diabetes ruled out being the next Maverick because who wants a Top Gun pilot that may or may not have a seizure at 13,000 feet and die on impact? There went a perfectly good airplane. What happened to being an entrepreneur and a techy or a programmer like my dad? Well, the first time I tried to write in C or C++ was a living nightmare! That was a good decision in the scheme of things. How about my dream of being an animator or an Imagineer for Disney/Pixar? Well, as I got older I saw how expenses and medical coverage would become a burden. If I didn't have steady coverage, I may loose all coverage and without my supplies and medicine I could simply go bankrupt or die. So the starving artist dream did exactly that, it died.
Then I met a girl and she changed everything. That is usually how the story goes. I rose for greater than just an engineer. Imagineer? Slim to none odds of getting that one. But I thought about getting a dual degree and going after business. And from that choice, I found what I want to do again. I think I once again found a passion. I would come home from classes during my undergrad at BYU and I would have problems and assignments and projects. I didn't always follow what I was being taught in engineering but I had the diligence and intelligence to figure out the puzzles and that was me - a puzzle solver. But I hated the lack of human interaction. I did not want to have the calculator and the cubicle sort of future. It would be a prison. Sure, I would make gobs of money. With my Bachelor's, most predictions for that industry would have had a starting annual salary of around $60k to $80k. With zero college debt and money left over in the bank, it was simple. Graduate, make money, live small, meet another amazing woman, convince her I was a catch, and start a family with a steady occupation. Seemed easy.
But every night I came home from class, I looked forward to something even more than the clear picture my future was. I would think of who could I help that night. I would think through my friends and see who I hadn't talked to in a while or someone that I knew was in a tough spot and I would call or just show up. Stop in to see how they were doing. And even if they weren't there, I would try and stay, listen, and consistently, I would find someone I could help. They would tell me their story as I was an open book and they could relate and trust me. I would wait and for the most part I would give them some advice. This is what brought the greatest satisfaction - feeling that I was helping people. In my spare time, I studied people and I studied psychology. I was passionate about what made people think and do what they chose to do. What motivates people? But how do I turn that into a career? I was too far along in engineering to start over and if you know me I am a finisher. I can but I don't like to walk away from my friends or my goals. I have learned to do that with age. But in the end, I found that I could become a facilitator. I could become a management consultant. I had the drive, the integrity, the willingness to ask the right questions, and dig around for the right answers. I am creative and persuasive. I am a lot of things. And the more I learn, the more this whole idea and future seems to fit me. There isn't a moment that doesn't pass when I don't wish that I had the family part figured out but it will come when it comes. Still, I found something that fits me and what I want to do again.
So can we always have both? Can we find the worldly success and security and the passion and dream? If not, what are we willing to sacrifice? There are so many stories of great and successful men stepping away from a career that lasted decades and had many rewards and recognition but in the end also brought so little satisfaction for them personally and who knows what they sacrificed to obtain it? Relationships? Joy? Time wasted or not wasted? Who lied to us when they said that we need to be what everyone else tells us to be because it would be a better place and we would be happier? Most skills can be learned. Most techniques can be practiced. But real motivation and passion can lite a fire so deep and powerful that it is able to overcome all odds. A sense of reality is important too - there was no way I was going to grow up to be a wolf or a dinosaur. Sorry but that is life. However, there are things we can do that aren't beyond us. What would the world be like if the greatest drama teacher in the history of the world became an accountant just because that was what everyone else expected of her? Men like Shakespeare would have never changed the world or men like Edison never would have been able to bring light to it. Impossible is only an idea that shadows the idea that can change everything. Never let someone tell you that you can't because the only person that can prove and show to them that they were wrong is you. Is your value as a person and what you can contribute defined by others or are you brave enough to determine that by yourself? It is your dream and your passion. Your life is a gift from God. Don't waste it doing something that you do not love.
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