Family is More Than Friends

When I was growing up I had a youth leader that once told me and the rest of the boys, "I am not your friend.  I am your leader."  For me, I didn't really understand what he meant.  How can you do all of these different activities, continue to teach us, give us advice, be there for us when we needed you, and you are not our friend.  Why did he say that?  I guess it makes a lot more sense now.  People always need friends that will support them no matter what, friends who will bail them out when they are in trouble and friends that are sitting there next to you waiting to be bailed out too.  But not everyone in your life is like that.

I always wanted to be a friend to my siblings, a confidant, and also a support and an example for them.  But what does it really mean to be a brother?  Are you supposed to be that way all the time?  I think there is a difference in those types of relationships were you have to balance having that relationship along with remembering your duty as for example a brother.  I feel as a brother I am an example, I am someone who listens, someone who gives advice, someone who stands up for you or stands beside you.  At times my siblings have hated me but still they always knew that I loved them.  I imagine being a future parent won't be much better... Except of course you can use the phrase, "I helped bring you into this world, so I would be more than happy to help you out of it as well!"  I know it won't be easy.

How do you discipline your children?  Do you take away privileges, hit or spank them, or mentally punish them by giving them the silent treatment?  Do you go on the proactive approach and be strict on rules or do you become the party house that way you know what they are doing?  Do you try and trust them and have faith in them, letting them learn on their own from the consequences of their actions?  I really don't know... There are just so many questions and really I have a lot of time before they need to be answered.  Plus, each child is different and what works for one may not work for the others.  It is just tough.  We all need to know what we did wrong so we don't do it again and as parent disciplining the child, we need to not only show justice but mercy.  We need to show an increase of love so we can only begin to discipline our children when we are already in that mindset of love.  Because what we do in the heat of passion can not be taken back.

Every relationship takes a lot of work but every relationship is a blessing.  They stretch us and teach us to love in different ways.  And once I am married, I do not have to do it alone either.  I will have my best friend to help me, to counsel me, to teach me, to be patient with me, and to love me, as I will try to do all these same things for her.  It will be interesting to see what I remember from my current family and what I will use in my future family.