Music is what feelings sound like... (Part 2)

Well I am glad that I am surrounded by people who really listen to me and can say just the things that I need to hear. First off, this is hopefully a lesson I have learned because it truly does suck. And it hurts. But I was impatient. I over analyzed. I realize now, which is a little late, that even though things had gone well, they also didn't turn out. I had taken such a big risk when I put myself out there because of the manner I asked her out, that when the date actually did go well, I blew it out of proportion. She really did make me forget about what I was doing, gave me butterflies just thinking about her, and when I was with her time just flew by. But in all my excitement of wanting to know when could I see her again, I made a huge mistake. I did not wait. I did not listen. I did not want to because I was selfish. Any good that I may have done in the past was pretty much canceled out by what I just have done. The thing is it is out of my control because I cannot take it back. I have always been the one to put myself out there from the beginning, and even though I definitely, and ironically, am attempting to remove my foot from my mouth, I tried. And I hope that is good enough. Though I can ask, would I take back the things that I said that got me here, if I could? All the bad ones I would give up in a second. Would I want to start over if I could? I don't know because I don't know what I would have learned or if it would ever had worked out. This one may still work out! I honestly have no clue. The only thing is that I know is if she ever finds her way here and reads this, I pray that she will try to understand. I hope she will have faith enough in me to give me another shot, whether or not I deserve one. As for now, I will still be myself whenever I see her and one thing is for certain. At this point, this really is now completely and hundred percent up to her.