because I didn't love you. I did and probably more than you will ever get to know but it is because I trusted you. I don't know if I can do that again. It is not so much that you lied but that you forgot. I gave you something that meant so much to me and you left it there on the floor, like a present unwrapped only so far as to see what it was and dropped because it wasn't exactly what you wanted. I don't even know if you even really looked at it before you threw it away. And so there I lie, broken and forgotten, torn and bitter, but lovingly forgiving because I hope you are happy. Your choices are exactly that... your own. So what is wrong with me? Why do I not hate you or breakdown because of the pain I feel? It is almost like if I did I would be weak, or be admitting aloud that you meant to me exactly how you really do or that there might actually be something wrong with me when there is really not. I guess I am just not him and so here I am confused. And it is sad, because typically I am so confident and sure. You never even told me that you had past me by and I wouldn't have ever even known if it wasn't for the grapevine. Thanks for that because you know what, I am only just a friend.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Torn By a Friend
Sometimes I wonder why I care. Is it merely because that is what separates me from everything else in the world? Or is it so I can learn more about myself? How vulnerable can I really be? It destroys me when things fall apart. I don't know whether I need to try harder or try less, because I just hope that you will be happy. All I know is that the dreams I had, the plans I made, and things I knew... they are just gone. I thought there would be tears, heartbreak, and it's not 
because I didn't love you. I did and probably more than you will ever get to know but it is because I trusted you. I don't know if I can do that again. It is not so much that you lied but that you forgot. I gave you something that meant so much to me and you left it there on the floor, like a present unwrapped only so far as to see what it was and dropped because it wasn't exactly what you wanted. I don't even know if you even really looked at it before you threw it away. And so there I lie, broken and forgotten, torn and bitter, but lovingly forgiving because I hope you are happy. Your choices are exactly that... your own. So what is wrong with me? Why do I not hate you or breakdown because of the pain I feel? It is almost like if I did I would be weak, or be admitting aloud that you meant to me exactly how you really do or that there might actually be something wrong with me when there is really not. I guess I am just not him and so here I am confused. And it is sad, because typically I am so confident and sure. You never even told me that you had past me by and I wouldn't have ever even known if it wasn't for the grapevine. Thanks for that because you know what, I am only just a friend.
because I didn't love you. I did and probably more than you will ever get to know but it is because I trusted you. I don't know if I can do that again. It is not so much that you lied but that you forgot. I gave you something that meant so much to me and you left it there on the floor, like a present unwrapped only so far as to see what it was and dropped because it wasn't exactly what you wanted. I don't even know if you even really looked at it before you threw it away. And so there I lie, broken and forgotten, torn and bitter, but lovingly forgiving because I hope you are happy. Your choices are exactly that... your own. So what is wrong with me? Why do I not hate you or breakdown because of the pain I feel? It is almost like if I did I would be weak, or be admitting aloud that you meant to me exactly how you really do or that there might actually be something wrong with me when there is really not. I guess I am just not him and so here I am confused. And it is sad, because typically I am so confident and sure. You never even told me that you had past me by and I wouldn't have ever even known if it wasn't for the grapevine. Thanks for that because you know what, I am only just a friend.
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