What Makes Me Different?

My parents have been doing there best to give me a strong kick in the butt to help me be happier. I think all it is doing is making us both sore and annoyed at each other to be honest but I do appreciate the effort at the same time. And since it seems to be the continual center of any kind of discussion, I feel like I have no choice but to think about it since it is being placed at the forefront of my mind: What makes me happy? And more specifically, what can I do myself to be happier?

I hate this conversation so as a starter, stop talking about it.

Most of the things that come to mind aren't even things that truly make ME happier. They are things that would make OTHERS happier. Over the last few weeks/months, I have had a few health scares so I know I need to work on my diabetes. If you aren't diabetic but have the potential to become so, change your lifestyle and eating habits now. Diabetes can be summed up in the first syllable... Die. It is terrible. So get your act together and avoid it all costs, all you Type 2's out there! So I know I need to work on that. I have been testing a lot more but I need to set some appointments with doctors (LOATHE) so I can get my prescriptions in.

The next thing I need to do is start going to the gym. I have never in my entire life have held a gym membership. I never wanted one. I avoid them. I don't feel that I need it. I know I am not as fit as I used to be. I know that I am clearly not as active as I want to be. I even set up my desk at work to be a standing desk to avoid sitting all day long when I am on the phones. The question is how have I avoided it for so long? Even with going to 7 years of college, I looked to be active wherever I lived. I had friends that I could play pick up soccer matches, ultimate frisbee, bubble soccer, volleyball, rock climbing, etc. If I needed to think or get away from people I would go for a run.

I don't have those types of friendships right now. I was hired after the work leagues had finished their sign ups for the year. So any exercise I have to do now, I have to do independently and I have to organize and do by myself. It is not something I am super excited about or look forward to because partially, I don't want to go to the gym and it is a reminder that all of my friends I used to do that stuff with no longer live anywhere near me. Still, at my heart I am an active person even though lately I haven't had the desire to do much.

The next thing I have on my "To-Do List" is reading and writing a novel. I have so much more time after work when I can read for my own enjoyment. I also can start working on my novel that I have outlined and think about in my spare time. It will be a good exercise to legitimately start putting pen to paper so to speak and start moving forward on the process. This is one of the things I actually want to do for me however, you need to feel inspired to really have exceptional writing. Writing for the sake of writing does not always produce anything of value but at least it helps the project progress.

Things that also make me happy include:

Kayaking Snowshoeing Going to the movies Going for walks Traveling Golfing Geocaching Going out to dinner

Visiting friends Rock Climbing Racquetball Games Soccer Matches Ultimate Frisbee Hanging out with friends Dating

"I didn't lose you, you lost me. You'll search for me inside of everyone you're with and I won't be found."

Typically in a breakup you will go into some sort of routine. I grow a beard for a while and my hair grows out. I watch old TV shows that make me laugh. Eventually I find myself again but this time I need to work on improving myself. I don't want to simply go back to who I was. I want to learn from this. I want to be better. Unfortunately like anything else in life, it won't be easy but it will be worth it. I have to be ready for the long haul again.