How Do We Define Ourselves...?

I have always been a deep thinker and most of the time I keep my deeper thoughts in private places but this once I want to share a thought that caused me to take some time to self-reflect.  When you think about you... How do you define yourself?  Are we defined by our past?  The successes of days gone by mixed with the lessons learned from failures and mistakes, I feel only paint a picture of actions, circumstance, and a shadow of a former self.  Some people sadly enough can only see that former self and they live in the past and forget the future.  Others who also suffocate in the shadows may do so because others may not let them move forward or forgive or be forgiven for former sins.  But again, I don't believe this paints the whole picture of a person although understanding it may help to see how far a person has come.  The distance that we have progressed in our lives may add light or compassion to our love and appreciation of another.

As much as we cannot dwell in the past, we also cannot spend away our days dreaming of a future.  Some people define themselves by their goals and their dreams.  Life is characteristic of change.  Life has unexpected turns and so dreams provide perspective but we cannot equate failure in unfulfilled personal expectations.  We need a forward thinking perspective and we need goals in order to arrive at our eventual destination but there is not one profession, there is not one chance, there is not one dream that will lead to happines but there is one way.  My testimony and faith in God and in my Savior Jesus Christ have helped me find that way but that is a discussion for another time and another thought.  My point is that dreams and wishful thinking only goes as far as the action that accompanies it and is necessary as a part of life... determination, enduring faith, charity for your fellow men, and hope for a future.  These things again help to add depth but are unable to define a person.

My impression is that the only person who can know who we really are, outside of our Creator, is ourselves.  I was always taught that character defines a man.  The thoughts and feelings and things that we do or say when no one else is ever watching.  If that is true then no one else really knows who we are!  Our outward actions may be accomplished for a variety of motives, many pure and some not so much.  At times the way we treat others, a complete stranger or a friend or even family, is a reflection of how we treat or view ourselves.  Still, no one else really knows us and so they are in essence unable to define us.  They can theorize.  They can guess.  They can assume.  But we define who we are and who we will become.  Our past is already written but that does not define the direction of our future.  Our world is ever-changing and so we too must adapt our plans, or in the words of Dan in Real Life, "plan to be surprised."

I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to stop thinking of ourselves through titles and decisions and mistakes and dreams.  We should not ignore our responsibilities!  We should continue to be a faithful spouse, a dutiful and loving parent, a teachable and humble child.  We aught to continue to live life the way we have been, unless there are ways in which you can improve or find greater joy or happiness then necessity would deem us to change.  But I am trying to say is that if we strip away all those things... a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a student, a boss, a dreamer, an adventurer, a partier, a planner, in a relationship, married, single, alone... Ignore all of those things.  Deep inside, how do you define your character?  What personal attributes or characteristics do you have?  What kind of person have you become?  Are you the kind of person that you always wanted to be?  Who are you?  Have you taken the time recently to really look at yourself in the mirror and seen yourself for who you really are, both good and bad?  This was the question I wanted to pose.