Looking Ahead

Tatiana and I like to discuss our futures a lot. We enjoy talking about what we do each day too but I would rather talk about the times when we will be together instead of when we are apart. But as I have been trying to figure out how to make the next few months as easy on us as possible, I have been amazed about what we have been able to come up with together.

I had gotten an iPod for Christmas this last year and for some odd reason, the laptop that I have had for college has been acting up and won't let me put any music on that particular iPod. So for a while it just sat on my desk without any particular purpose for me to own it. Then I started going through and looking at what apps were available to me and now I have my scriptures and lesson manuals on it. I have the General Conference talks on it. I have a variety of ways that I can send messages or voicemails to Tatiana from it. I can send her pictures. I can even play different games with her. But if anything I can definitely say that it is a start. I am writing her emails every day. We are studying the Book of Mormon together. I am planning on sending her a letter every week. I am trying to think of any way I can to make sure that whatever distance is between us doesn't have to feel so far. I even made sure that when she left, she could have little pieces of me wherever she looked... jewelry, sweatshirts, photos, letters, stuffed animals, etc.

The kicker for me however is I am Skyping her weekly, if not daily, and we share a chocolate on our Sunday Skype dates. There are about 20 weeks left so we will share 20 more chocolates until we can finally be together again. The thing is that when I say "finally" I mean it just can't come soon enough. I am trying to focus on my classes and my studies. I am trying to get through the daily grind. Still, the only thing that brings any life into me is when I get a message from her, when I hear her voice, or some small reminder brings back a memory. I still am fasting and praying for her as we are still waiting for a response from BYU about whether or not she has been accepted as a transfer student. I still am fasting and praying for her as she is getting adjusted to being back home.


I guess the real update is that I feel like this is doable. Easy... hell, no. Doable... yes. So this is me accepting the fact that it is going to be a lot of late nights, long study sessions, and taking some time to carve out a nook in the library that I will call my own as I try to carry myself through these classes. My classes this semester as not crazily difficult... it is the combination of them that is insane. Taking anatomy and organic chemistry at the same time has been very hard. But to top it off with a couple of time-consuming mechanical engineering courses was probably not my best move. Still, I am trying to graduate with my BS next year so I can start applying for graduate school.

Things have changed in that aspect as well. I have thought for a long time that I would get my biomedical engineering degree at the University of Utah, continuing to return home to the east coast to work at my internship with NxStage Medical, and when it was all said and done, finish and return back home to settle down on the east coast. Well, my Aussie girl has changed a couple of those things for me. We want to see how far her dreams of animation can take her, starting with attending BYU. BYU is unique that it is one of the top three colleges worldwide for that major and is highly recruited by the big names in the industry. If she is recruited by one of them, then the likelihood of going east instead of west is beginning to dwindle. I want her to succeed. I want her to try for her dreams so I am going to support her in any way I can. And as I have thought about that, I have begun to develop different goals for myself. I have had thoughts of getting a MS or MBA from BYU. It means that along with working for NxStage Medical again this summer, I will be getting ready to fly over to Australia to visit Tatiana, studying to take the GRE and GMAT exams, and planning the rest of my life basically.


She has done so much for me and so much to me... all I can say is that it is great and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have been happier when I am with her, more confident, the Spirit is stronger in my life, and in the end she is woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I guess the only thing left to do is just count down the days until I get to see her again... I just pray that they come quickly.