I have always tried to treat women I date as a princess, as my queen. I listen, serve, do my best to focus on her needs, her wants, and her feelings. However, I also recognized that at the end no matter what the circumstances, I don't let any feelings I have die. They lie in wait behind the walls I put up for whatever reason. The trust in a relationship may be broken, distance and reality of the difficulty that it represents awakens within me, or the world takes up our time so time together becomes few and far between. The feelings inside demand attention and romance but the walls around them call for caution because of any realistic sense for the situation. I guess the philosophers were never so far off when they said that Man would always be His greatest enemy. We are the ones that stop ourselves. We too easily give into our own fears.
Why do I fear? I fear because of all people involved! These are not stones we walk on as we build relationships. We are building a foundation of memories and emotions but it has been my personal history where as I have built the foundation before we begin to get to know other people. I have laid a long foundation to just overcome my own shy personality that when rejection may come, we are forced to go back the way we came, by walking on top of these memories and emotions, the walls and chambers of our own hearts. We fear because we care so much so soon. Maybe the reason I am able to remain good friends after these breakups is because I try not to turn around but continue to move forward. At the point of misdirection where I must pick another course, I stand fast. I wait. And when the moment is right, I build anew towards a new direction and a new hope for love given and love gained. If there is no risk in a relationship then what really is the worth of the blessings that we hope to gain? You have to put yourself out there if you hope for anything serious.
It is this same fight between the romantic and emotional Man and the realistic Man which is the problem. Because any guy can see what is wrong in another man's relationship. Why? Because we aren't emotionally or romantically involved in it. We can now see why he isn't making her happy. We can now know what he needs to fix.
But if we were that guy, we could come up with no real sound advice or direction for ourselves. We would come up with something that would blossom from our romantic side and then the realistic shoulder angel would tell us, "Come off it. That will never work." And we will have no idea which guy to listen to. The type of man that a woman needs to watch out for is the one that doesn't have both angels. Having both at times is like living your worst nightmare as the confused male. But the guy who doesn't have both sides to balance him out is either crazy or just a straight up jerk.So as I sat there and listened to my friend's problems in her relationship with this friend of her's. At first I just felt like he was just such an idiot. And then I realized... wow. I am that same kind of idiot. And the funny thing is, everyone will tell us that we didn't do anything wrong when we ask them for their opinion. I don't know why that is. Probably because we couldn't get the story told as unbiasedly as humanly possible. But for whatever reason, I think why those relationships don't pan out into something more is just this simple fact: People don't truly love each other unless they have seen and accepted each other at both their best times and at their worst. If you do something stupid and she loves you, she loves you even in all your stupidity. Men prepare to always be wrong. And women, prepare to always be ready to say, "Stupid is with me." And everybody can hope that it gets better and easier with age.
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