What I love had become my number one enemy...

It always seems that when you finally begin to find yourself, you realize that you have been lost for a really long time. Distractions, illusions, and misunderstandings have been the things that you have called truth and the foundation to your happiness. It was wrong, but right at the same time. Many of these things typically are not bad to begin with. They only become so because too much of a good thing can be exactly what you don't need. This applies to a lot of different things in my life, whatever it may be but lately I have found that music has become a problem for me.

When I listen to music it has such an affect on me in so many ways. It energizes. It soothes. It heals. It numbs. It excites. It impassions. It puts my mind in whatever place I wish it to be. I just wish I didn't have to let it become such an addiction. It is hard for me not to go around and have music thumping all the time through my apartment, through my headphones, through my head, and it is a problem. I can't hear anything else.

I do not have any time to listen to the silence, to think, to receive revelation, I have cut myself off. I have become my own worst enemy. It weakens my resolve, my connection to the Spirit, my strength. It in all reality did exactly what I intended it to: numb me and bring me out of reality. I forgot what I really needed because I was willing to replace true comfort with a temporal one. It wasn't bad music or music that drew away from the Spirit, it just never gave any room for it. God won't scream over the top of the tune you choose to listen to.

It is sad, because is not the first time something that I love has gone from my number one of one extreme to the other. Stick to the fundamental principles and the basics, because there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Don't be stupid.