First off, if you ever met me in person you would realize off the bat how analytical I am. The example that was given to me was that when it comes to decisions, schools, work, applications, networking... I read people well. I make a plan. I decide in advance what I will do, what I will say, who I need to talk to, and if I don't have enough information in advance then I am adaptable and I am able to adjust my plan to the present. I look at people and I analyze them. This is probably why I can be a great salesman at times because I plan what I am going to say and I can see the pain points that need to be solved. I am a people watcher. I see in people who they are - the good, the bad, the ugly, but mostly the good.It is an interesting phenomenon because I see all of it and I am willing to accept the good and try and help others see their potential but for myself I am not so forgiving. I am my own judge, jury, and executioner. My roommates think my dating habits are those of a wild man; however, this isn't the case. When I meet people, I see them for who they are. I see all of the good that they have or can have in their lives because of the gifts and talents that they have been given. I want to get to know them. I am interested in them. The issue is that I then subconsciously compare them to myself and want to hold on so tightly because in my heart I feel like they are better than me and that I don't deserve to be with them when I forgot the most important thing. There is only one person who knows my self-worth, and that person isn't even myself.
Other people do not define you. Their judgments and actions don't define your value. You do not define your value. Only God who made you and your Savior who died for you, understand who you really are and know much you really are worth. When I am feeling like I am not up to par with the people that I am attracted to then maybe I should spend some more time working on who I am and start by getting out of the snares and traps that I have allowed myself to fall in. I can't help others out of their traps if I am limping around in mine.
I need to forgive myself completely.
It is not that I act like a puppy dog around every woman that walks on the face of the earth. I am confident. It is that I fall victim to the same issues that I recently counseled one of my other friends about, a lack of patience. My friend had posted that "... girls are like ... Fire ... Stay away, feel cold ... Stay closed, get burnt." There is some truth to that but the way to help overcome that is through the process that he and I are going about things. This is how I responded:
"I would rather get burnt until I find the spot closest to the fire where I am most comfortable then die in the cold by myself. There are things a lot worse than being cold so don't choose that when inside you and I both know it isn't the best choice. If we were willing to move slower we would find the sweet spot faster but it is our impatience that get the best of us."
The issue is that again we don't define our self-worth correctly. Until we truly understand it and are taught it by the Person who truly knows, then we sell ourselves short. If we know our true value, we would share a little bit of ourselves and then wait for the other person to respond. Still, it is a two-way street. What I say next is not out of pride but understanding. We need to see if this other person we are interested in is really someone that knows their value and matches ours. Again, it is not the value or perceived level of value that we are trying to match but the way in which that value was gained or determined. I need to be patient. I need to once again learn who I am and the way I do that is as important as actually doing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment